Say Something
by sesskag87
Summary: "Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be." Helga/Arnold
1. Chapter 1

Hello everybody, I've decided to publish a new story! Review and tell me how you like it.

Oh and I have not forgotten about my Sesshomaru and Kagome story. I'm gonna put up a chapter soon.

I love you-

* * *

Helga walked into her brand new classroom. And her last year in middle school. Crap that was absolutely fine with her. She had grown sick and tired of the same banter of their, in her opinion, crazed principal Warts and the teachers endless lectures of how 'special' they were.

She looked around at her new classroom. Ms. Williams room. Ms. Williams who had a vase of pink flowers on her desk. Oh criminy, they had a girl Mr. Simmons.

She snorted at the annoying arrangement of flowers on the desk. She scanned the room and spotted a seat in the middle. She sat and propped one foot in the chair opposite her, for Phoebe.

Helga let out a big sigh into the silence of the room. She let her façade fall for a moment. Her last year at Ps. 118. And, she wasn't sure if she would be sent to the same school as all her semi annoying classmates. Maybe that was a good thing. New air and new people.

And no Arnold.

Her fingers clenched her desk frame, surprised at the amount of pain that ripped through her.

Well, he hadn't noticed her in four years; she highly doubted he would if she went to a different school.

The bell suddenly rang and she snapped out of her daydreaming. People started to filter into the classroom and her scowl fell right back into place.

"God Harold, didn't you _just_ eat?" A shrill voice rang out.

Rhonda Lloyd.

"I'm hungry again Rhonda!" Harold Berrman shot back.

Oh god, when were those two finally going to admit their feelings to each other? Helga rolled her eyes at the thought. Rhondas parents would probably flip out and disown her.

"Hey Stinky, want to go frog hopping in the river after school?" Sid asked Stinky Peterson.

Oh god, not these idiots.

"Well Sid, my ma needs me to pick up some hickory spice from the market after school."

Helga immediately was disinterested in the rest of their conversation.

Then two more characters walked in.

Arnold and Gerald.

Helga perked up a little at his presence.

"You know he's going to win Gerald."

"Arnold, need I remind you that he has had a losing streak for many years now?"

"He won a ton last year."

"Yes, his only winning year man."

Helga couldn't bear to listen to them; she couldn't bear to be there in that room with any of them at the moment.

"Listen shorty and tall hair boy, no one gives a flying crap about your baseball obsession."

The boys turned in her direction, as if they were just noticing her sitting there.

"Helga, let's not start off our last year with your sour comments." Arnold said levelly.

Helga wasn't in the mood to bicker with him. Or to throw meaningless puns back and forth. She sighed and leaned back in the chair and looked out the window.

Arnold was surprised when he got nothing back for what he said. Helga would usually be in his face by now, waving ole Betsy in front of him. Instead, she only glowered at him and turned away from the situation.

Odd.

A few more minutes passed by and the classroom was completely full.

Helga realized though that there was no Phoebe.

She leaned to the desk in front of her to Sheena, "Sheena, have you seen Phoebe?"

She turned around to talk to Helga, an odd expression on her face.

"You didn't hear Helga?"

Helga's heart rate sped up, had something happened to her friend?

"Well apparently, she is so academically a head of all of us she got bumped up to ninth grade."

Helga felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, sure her friend wasn't dead or anything, far from it, but it felt like she had. Whey hadn't phoebe told her?

"She got to school today and Principal Warts pulled her to the side."

So, that's what happened.

Helga didn't want to hear anymore.

"Good morning children!"

Helga stiffened at the squeaky, high pitched voice that whistled through the air. She was dying to cover her ears. She looked the young woman over; she was relatively young, probably in her twenties. She was definitely that bouncing, bubbly, annoying cheerleader look at me! Type. Helga did not know how she was going to survive this school year.

"Welcome to the eighth grade children! This is your last year! Aren't you excited?"

Helga snorted.

This caught the teacher's attention.

"Ms…Pataki. Right?"

"Doi."

"Are you happy to be here Ms. Pataki?"

Helga raised her unibrow at her. "Are we going to start discussing my feelings now? I'm not interested Ms. _Willard."_

"Williams." She corrected the youth.

Arnold was drawn to the conversation between the two women. But mostly to Helga's anger, and why. She seemed very withdrawn today. His eyes scanned her sour face, looking for some form of emotion. And suddenly, it fell for a moment. Her eyes relaxed and she huffed, looking down at her desk. She lightly tapped her fingers on the top of her desk. She looked haunted.

After a moment more of examining her emotions her head snapped up and her eyes caught his.

"Take a picture Arnoldo, it'll last longer."

This pushed him back into the present. He rolled his eyes and turned his head away from her.

And yet, the haunting look stuck in his mind's eye.

* * *

Helga endured the entire day without killing someone. Oh boy was she proud.

The bell rang and she hastily made her way out the front door. The bus was running, waiting for its inhabitants to load. Helga decided against taking the public transportation and decided to walk the few blocks home.

She needed some time to think over a few things.

Arnold pushed through the doors, laughing with Gerald as he went.

"Do you want to head to the arcade Arnold?"

"I got to head home to help my grandpa set some things up for grandma, maybe later on tonight though?"

Gerald slapped his hand, "sure man."

Arnold hopped down the steps after his friend departed. He decided against taking the bus, he didn't have time to wait for all the other kids to unload. He promised his grandfather he'd be there by 4. It was lurking close to 3:45.

It was a relatively quiet walk home. His mind kept him company.

He was absorbed in his thoughts and his eyes weren't leaving the pavement, he didn't have time to think before another body smashed into his.

"Oww." He grumbled.

"God Arnoldo, can't you look where the heck you're going?"

Arnold sighed and climbed to his feet, "You know Helga; you slammed into me as well, meaning you weren't looking either. So what's your excuse?"

Helga scowled at him, "I had my mind on other things."

Arnold didn't miss the emotion in that sentence.

"Is something going on?"

"No, and if there was something going on, do you think I'd tell you?"

"I hope so. Maybe I can help you." He offered his hand down to her but she slapped it away.

"Oh please," she mumbled, "I don't need your stupid pity Arnold."

He pulled his hand back, "I do not pity you Helga, and I'm only saying that if you ever need, or want to talk to somebody, I'm listening."

Helga climbed off the pavement, her eyes never losing their menacing look.

"Well football head, listen to this, leave me alone."

She left it at that and stomped off in the direction he had just come.

Arnold watched her go, a nagging feeling in his stomach. He didn't always _like_ Helga, but she had her good moments. She acted like a big bully, but deep down he knew she was different then what she put off to other people. He had seen her soft side, and he had seen her bad side.

Arnold liked to think he was probably one of the few people who actually _saw_ Helga Pataki.

* * *

"That stupid Arnold."

Helga would usually go into monologue about how much she loved the football headed boy, the one with a heart of gold. The one with the key to her heart, her soul. But today, she did not feel like it, for some odd reason, every time she looked at him it made her heart sore. Maybe she was finally coming to terms with the fact that Arnold would never love her. He would never want her.

The thought made her nauseous and she sprinted behind a garbage can.

She breathed in and out…in and out.

Slowly. Slowly.

Phoebe had taught her this technique a long time ago. When Helga would start to get angry or eccentric, Phoebe would stop her and tell her to do her breathing exercise, and that it would help.

She wanted to see her friend.

Helga took in a few more breaths and finally crawled out from behind the dumpster.

She rang the doorbell to Phoebe's house and waited for her, or her parents to answer.

In a few seconds the door cracked open.

"Hello?" A small voice squeaked.

"Phoebe?"

Helga nudged the door with her elbow, "Hey, what the heck Phoebe?"

"Helga?"

"Duh, why are you shoving me out of the doorway?"

Phoebe sighed and pulled the door open further, "You can come in."

Helga noticed that her eyes were puffy. Her face was tinged with red streaks.

"What happened Phoebe?"

Phoebe looked at Helga and the tears welled up in her eyes again. Helga's face softened towards her best friend and she went over and hugged her.

"Oh Helga, I didn't want to be bumped up a grade. I even talked to them about moving me back and they said that it was out of the question."

"It's ridiculous that you can't make your own decision."

Phoebe nodded and wiped her eyes. "I sat in my classroom today and just stared down at my desk. Not only am I not in the same grade with my friends, but I'm not even at the same school! It's dreadful Helga!"

Phoebe started to sob then and sat down on the floor by her bedroom door. Helga put her arms around her friend's shoulders.

"Look Phoebe, we can make this work. We can still hang out and I'll try to come over every day after school. And…Gerald."

Phoebe cried harder and leaned into Helga.

"I miss him Helga..I miss him so much."

Helga shut her eyes and sighed. She fully understood how her friend felt, she felt like her heart was breaking every second of every day.

After a few more minutes of crying and of Helga saying soothing things to lighten her worry, Phoebe finally raised her head up and wiped her eyes.

"Helga?"

"Hm?" her friend answered.

"There's something different about you today Helga, is something wrong?"

Helga smiled, "Phoebe, I'm pretty sure today's session is fully about you."

Phoebe sighed and stood up, wiping her eyes again. "No, It's just something I have to work through, It's not like I'll never see my friends again, you guys are right here. It just feels…wrong to be there without everybody."

Helga nodded.

"Now Helga, what's wrong? I can feel it radiate off of you. Did something happen with your parents?"

Helga rolled her eyes, "No, nothing happened with _them._"

Phoebe tapped her window seal, "I'm waiting Helga."

Helga toyed with the carpet fuzz.

"I-It's..ice cream."

Phoebe nodded and ceased her tapping.

"Phoebe, I think it's time to let go of Ic-Arnold."

* * *

R&R


	2. Chapter 2

Phoebe was a little dumbfounded at Helga's admission. Helga Pataki had liked Arnold for as long as she could remember. She found it a little unbelievable that Helga would just want to let go of the situation just like that.

"Helga, what sprung this on?"

Her friend sighed and continued to rip at the carpet.

"Phoebe, Arnold will never like me, let alone love me."

"Well, are you going to tell him?"

Her friend grimaced. "I told him a long time ago; when we were saving the neighborhood, but I played it off for the heat of the moment. And since then, nothings been said about it, and that was years ago Phoebe."

Phoebe looked out the window, she was at a loss, and she wanted to tell her friend to hold onto hope. But, she wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to hear, or what she needed.

Helga didn't know what to say. She and Phoebe had never really discussed Arnold in depth before. There were moments though, to where sometimes when Helga would come over and something had happened between them, that Phoebe would catch on to Helga's unnatural silence. Instead of providing advice, she would be silent, until Helga would start a conversation.

"Are you going to just avoid him?"

Helga nodded, "At all costs."

"Do you think he'll catch on?"

"To be perfectly honest, he'll probably be happy, or not even notice."

Phoebe didn't think that Arnold wouldn't notice. She didn't tell Helga that though, the only thing she could do is be there for her. Knowing her friend, and knowing the history of the situation, Helga had a rough time ahead of her.

They talked for a little bit longer.

"Helga, you know I'm only a phone call away."

Her friend smiled at her and hugged her again, "I know Phoebe, and you remember that to."

* * *

Arnold stared out his bedroom window, his thoughts filled with Helga Pataki.

Over the years, she had been a mystery. She usually only showed her sarcastic, or her angry side to him. But sometimes, in little moments, he would see a different side to her. She could be caring, and intensely passionate to those she cared for.

He sighed and pressed his fingers to his temples.

Sleep would not come easy tonight.

* * *

Helga paused outside her house. Her hand was on the doorknob but she couldn't bring herself to open the door. Taking a deep breath she pushed the door forward.

Like always, big Bob was sitting on his butt in the living room and Miriam was passed out opposite him.

Helga tiptoed in, not wanting to draw any attention.

She trudged up quietly to her room.

Helga walked into her room and stopped in front of her closet door. She knew what lay within, and she knew what she had to do.

Throwing open the door, she knew it would be easier to just tear off the bandage instead of peeling it off slowly.

She grabbed a box from her shelf and started to throw random things in, then she felt tears slide down her face. She probably looked like a mad woman, shoving, grabbing, and trying her very hardest to not look at the objects as they got slung into the box.

She stopped for a second and started to sob.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, she grabbed her closet door and slammed it shut, leaving her in the darkness.

The obscurity consumed her. It consumed her thoughts, it consumed her being.

Helga put her head on her knees and continued to cry.

_Leave _

_Me _

_Alone _

Helga awoke suddenly, the words from earlier that day making small circles in her mind.

Not knowing how long she had been asleep, she gently pried herself off of the floor and grasped the door handle to remove herself from the darkness.

The next morning, lying in her bed, she stared at the ceiling, ignoring the pounding on the other side of the door.

"Helga! It's time for school!"

Sighing, she threw the comforter off and touched her toes to the floor.

Today, instead of wearing the dress she always adorned, she decided to wear pants and a black shirt.

Helga wasn't one to contribute to the adolescents at school that made black their 'thing.' But, her lack of sleep, and lack of food for that matter, clouded that thought.

She looked in her mirror, and noticed the light circles under her eyes. Her hair needed to be washed. Tossing her head upside down she decided to pull it up into a ponytail for today.

"Olga, where were you last night?"

"Bob, I've been in this world for 14 years, it's about time that you realized that my name is Helga. I'm not responding to anything else."

At that remark, she grabbed her bagged lunch and left.

Arnold boarded the bus, yawning.

He glanced around for Gerald, who was waving in the back.

As he walked down the aisle, he casually looked around for blonde hair.

He sat next to Gerald and yawned again.

"Rough night?" His friend joked.

"I didn't get any sleep Gerald…my mind was somewhere else. I think I finally got to sleep around 3 this morning."

"What was bothering you?"

Arnold looked down; he wasn't ready to tell Gerald that what kept him up all night was the haunting look on Helga Pataki's face.

"Tell me when you're ready man."

Arnold nodded.

A few minutes of silence went by and suddenly a figure outside caught Arnold's attention.

Helga. But, she looked different.

He touched the glass and watched her until her figure was a blur.

Gerald watched the scene with confusion. He knew his friend had a thing for helping people, but he had never seen him act that way before. Especially for the girl that had taunted him for as long as he could remember.

Arnold had his eyes downcast.

Nothing was said the entire bus ride.

* * *

Helga arrived at P.S. 118, sighing as she trudged through the doors.

Walking up to her locker, she removed her textbooks. Grabbing her Algebra book, she suddenly heard breathing behind her.

Brainy.

She turned and looked at him, not bothering to sock him like she had always done in the past.

"Go to class Brainy. You'll be late."

Helga scanned the seats; she decided to sit in the back today.

Arnold was already in the classroom when he saw Helga. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

For some odd reason, something stopped him. The look on Helga's face told him that she was in no mood to talk.

He noticed though the bags under her eyes, it looked like she hadn't slept the night before either. He absentmindedly squeezed his pencil, irritated that he couldn't find anything to say to her.

"Good morning class!"

Helga slumped down in her chair, praying to just vanish. She didn't want to see her teacher, she didn't want to see her classmates, and she definitely didn't want to see…Arnold.

Looking at the boy with the weird shaped head she suddenly felt extremely dizzy.

She shot her hand up, the room spinning in a circle.

"Ms…Ms Willams?"

The teacher stopped talking about their lesson, "Yes Ms. Pataki?"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

Ms. Williams looked at her questionably, "Alright, hurry back then."

Helga nodded and literally bolted out of the door.

Arnold watched, and almost ran after her, she looked completely awful.

Helga ran into the bathroom, hyperventilating again, her breath was coming in short gasps and she felt like she would die.

"Oh god, oh god." She clutched at her throat, remembering in a fog, the words that Phoebe spoke to her.

_Breathe Helga. Breathe._

In. Out. In. Out.

The world suddenly stopped spinning and Helga felt the breath return to her lungs. She gasped, inhaling the much needed air back into her body.

In. Out. In. Out.

She looked up into the mirror, hating, hating what that football head had turned her in to.

She felt absolutely pathetic, absolutely foreign in her own body, in her own mind.

Helga knew she didn't have the ideal life, but she never sat around and pitied herself, or moped around about her crappy parents. She would be darned if she let this beat her; she had to find some way to pull herself out of her depression.

Maybe a trip to Ms. Bliss.

She made up her mind; she would talk to her previous therapist about her conflict.

Walking out of the bathroom, she suddenly came face to face with her very problem.

"God, did you follow me football head?" She whispered.

Arnold frowned at her, "Helga, you kind of bolted out of the room. I asked the teacher if I could check on you, you looked pretty bad."

Helga furrowed her eyebrow, "thanks."

She started to walk away from him, until he grabbed her elbow.

"What is going on Helga?"

Saying nothing she moved her eyes to the ground.

He stepped closer to her, and this move did not go unnoticed.

_Come on Helga ole girl, you have to do this…it's for your own good._

She snapped her eyes up to his, removing her elbow from his grasp. "I told you to leave me alone Arnold."

"Helga, pushing me away is not going to work this time, I know that that's not the real you, I know you care."

She grit her teeth, "You do not know anything about me Arnold, and I'm not this basket case you can fix!"

She turned away from him, leaving him there to mull over what she had just screamed at him.

"Leave me alone." She whispered again.

He watched her go. He had wanted to grip her by her shoulders and shake her, demanding to know what her problem was.

He was scared for her; she had looked so lost today.

By god he was going to find out why, no matter how many times she shoved him away.

* * *

R&R


	3. Chapter 3

Oh my, I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed for my story and all the other readers as well. Your feedback is very much appreciated! You people keep me going

I however, have not forgotten my other stories; I'm working on them as well. I'm trying to get more of this up, while the ideas are flowing through my mind.

-I love you.

* * *

Helga walked out the school doors, happy that Arnold had not approached her for the rest of the day. Maybe he had actually listened to her when she screamed at him.

She didn't hate him now, she just needed the distance to fully let go of him. The thought sent her heart beating in a wild frenzy, but she just took a few deep breaths and kept walking to her destination.

She entered the office to Ms. Blisses receptionist.

"Can I help you?" The young woman asked Helga.

"Yes. I need to talk to Ms. Bliss, it's kind of important."

"Do you have an appointment?"

Helga grimaced, "Uh, sort of."

"Well, if you don't have a scheduled appointment, there's nothing I can do for you. Ms. Bliss is booked up for this week."

Suddenly, a door opened, "Ms. Pataki will not need an appointment Margo. She's my special friend."

Helga smiled at the doctor.

"Won't you come in Helga?"

The pre-teen nodded and shut the door behind them.

Arnold walked with Gerald to the arcade. Needing to get his mind off of the events that had played out today.

"Something is still bothering you Arnold, you've been kind of quiet today. And then there was that thing with Helga in the classroom."

Arnold flinched and didn't say anything; he probably did look a little suspicious basically running after her.

"It was nothing, it was only concern Gerald."

"Look Arnold, I've known you for most of your life, and that explanation right there is total crap man."

He stopped walking and looked at his blonde friend.

"I wouldn't say anything about it, if you weren't acting so odd. But, Arnold, you're losing sleep man, you didn't really eat today. Now, spill."

He looked at Gerald for a while before he actually told him. Knowing he'd sound like a total idiot, he decided to spill…

"I'm concerned about Helga Gerald."

His friend nodded, "Yeah, I kind of got that. The question is why?"

Arnold frowned, "She hasn't treated me the best, and I know that that's an understatement, but we both know she doesn't really have the best family. I just worry when she's not being her sarcastic self; I'm worried that something awful is happening."

Gerald knew what the awful was that Arnold was referring to.

They had arrived at the arcade by the time Arnold got done talking.

His friend looked down at him and sighed, "I understand the concern Arnold, but you have to know when you can't fix things. And dude, you can't fix Helga Pataki. Or her family."

The words effected Arnold way more than he'd ever let on to his friend.

"Let's just go in."

His mind was as far from games as it could possibly get.

Helga sat down on the long couch. She twiddled with her fingers, not ready to pour her heart out just yet.

"How are things at home Helga?" Ms. Bliss asked, sensing the tension in the young girl.

Helga snorted, "Peachy."

"I sense that is not the reason as to why you're here dear."

Helga shook her head.

"Well, in your time."

Silence drifted in between the two.

"I-It's Arnold."

Dr. Bliss nodded her head and stood up, "I thought as much."

Helga kicked her feet to and fro, a nervous habit that she was never able to kick.

"So, have you told him how you felt yet Helga?"

She stopped moving her feet, her eyes saddened as she remembered the shocked look on his face at the top of the FTI building.

"A long time ago."

"Well that's good. You've taken a step forward, you should be proud."

Helga whipped her head up, "Yeah, but it didn't do anything. I-I took it back."

"I see."

Ms. Bliss took a moment of silence to look at the girl on the couch. She looked so unhappy; the woman also noticed that the child had a change in wardrobe.

"Helga? What is bothering you?" She got up to sit beside the troubled girl.

Silence again.

"Why did you decide to take back what you said? Fear of rejection."

"Bingo."

Ms. Bliss sighed and leaned back, "You know Helga; you can't run from rejection forever, it's a part of life and it's what you have to deal with if you want to move forward."

"I don't want too. I just want..to..forget him."

Helga stood up and started to pace, biting her finger nails. Another one of her nervous habits.

"Do you think that is wise?"

She stopped pacing and finally looked at Dr. Bliss.

"It's what I think I should do. You said it yourself, either deal with rejection, or let it go. I don't want to deal with rejection from Arnold, it would be too much. It would not only be too much, but it would be humiliating."

"Helga, there is nothing wrong with waiting a little longer to tell Arnold again. I don't think you're taking a healthy progressing step."

"Wait longer? I can't wait any longer! For what? For high school? For college?" She was becoming hysterical with annoyance and anger. Wasn't this doctor supposed to agree with her and help her?

"Just never mind, I was dumb to think you'd understand." She made for the door, until Dr. Bliss took a step in front of her.

"You are not dumb, and I do understand. I just don't want you to give up on someone you obviously have shown you care deeply for."

Helga backtracked to stand by the window.

"I just want to move on, he has so many other girls that are more open, are more like him." She whispered dejectedly.

"Helga, just because you're not as open as other girls about your feelings does not mean you don't deserve happiness."

The tears that Helga was trying to fight back were threatening to spill now.

"Everyone deserves happiness, and if you think this is the key, I will be here for you."

Sob.

Sob.

Helga put her face in her hands and cried into her palms.

Ms. Bliss stood beside her and put her hand on her shoulder, feeling all of the teenager's pain.

Minutes rolled by before Helga could compose herself again.

She finished her story by telling Dr. Bliss about Phoebe, another one of her burdens.

Dr. Bliss only told her that she should be proud of her friend, and that she should be there for her. The transition between friends and schools would be hard on both of them.

"Helga, I think you should write in a journal every day. It will be a very freeing exercise. "

Helga nodded, agreeing with her. She had always loved to write, even though most of her work was towards her obsession for Arnold.

"Now Helga, if you'd like to, you can come visit me again next week. You can also bring some of your journal entries."

"I'd like that, "she said.

Getting up she started to make for the door to leave. She stopped when her hand touched the doorknob, "I'm glad you listened to me. I'll see you next week."

Ms. Bliss continued to stare at the door after she left. She sighed and collapsed into a chair beside her, sometimes this job was…overwhelming. No child, teenager, or adult should have to go through so much in one lifetime.

* * *

Arnold made his way home from the arcade; he had been poor company for Gerald and the rest of his friends that day. They had made that perfectly clear.

Flashback to arcade scene;

"_Geez Arnold, you lost us our air hockey game." Sid yelled at him, getting dramatic. _

"_Yes, I know Sid." He replied, annoyed._

"_Where was your head?!" _

_He didn't need this; he could have cared less about air hockey today._

"_Get out of my face Sid, I don't need this today."_

_At that comment, he stormed out of the arcade, leaving a jaw dropped Sid behind and a concerned Gerald in his wake. _

* * *

He grit his teeth and kicked a can that had gotten in his way as hard as he could.

He was a mess. He knew that.

Last night, he knew that he was probably _too _concerned over Helga. For some reason, he just could not help it.

Arriving at his house, he stared up at the building, lost in his thoughts again.

He sighed and climbed the steps, leaning his forehead against the door, just wanting to stop and rest in _silence _for just a _few _moments.

No thoughts, no feelings, just…

Silence.

* * *

R&R


	4. Chapter 4

"Letting go is hard, but sometimes holding on is harder."

-I love you.

* * *

Helga glared down at her new notebook. She couldn't find it in herself to write her feelings down on the page. She scribbled something down, half haste.

-I had another panic attack today. I was walking home from talking to Dr. Bliss and had to hide behind the garbage can again, my breathing was ragged and my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest.

-I've helped myself deal with these spells by doing breathing techniques. Phoebe taught me how to act more calmly.

-I miss her.

Helga stopped writing, not sure of what else to put down.

She knew she would have to mention him. It was all part of the process of letting him go wasn't it?

-I wanted to cry in his arms the day he comforted me at the bathroom. I wanted to tell him the reason I was so distraught was because of him.

Him. Him. Him.

She lay back in her bed, at the moment forgetting her journal.

Arnold, the bane of her existence right, the guy who made her feel all funny inside.

The angel.

The boy…who never noticed her.

In. Out.

In. Out.

"Helga! It's time for dinner!" A voice split through the air.

She sighed and drug herself down the stairs to her perfect family.

* * *

Arnold fiddled around with the food on his plate. He did not feel like eating. His mind, like always was occupied with very confusing thoughts.

"Oscar, get your hands off of my plate!"

"I'm telling you it'll take one hit to demolish the entire building Hyunh."

"Ernie, you lie."

"Take the flag colonel, run for the hills!"

Arnold slammed his fork down, interrupting the ruckus at the table.

He glared at them and excused himself.

Arnold lay on his back, staring out his skylight.

A knock sounded at the door, making him sigh.

"Come in."

Grandpa peered around the door frame, not wanting to interrupt the teen from something..lmportant.

"Hey shortman, is everything okay?"

Arnold didn't answer his grandpa, just continued to stare out his skylight.

"I guess that is the wrong question. How about…do you need any advice for what's eating you."

"I'm just confused grandpa; I'm concerned for a friend. But this concern is just…overwhelming."

Phil sat down on the bed, "Arnold, you can't burden yourself with everyone's problems all the time. I know you want to help your little friend, but is it worth being so distressed over?"

Arnold contemplated his words for a moment, never thinking of it that way.

"No. No, I guess not. I've tried to talk to…my friend, but they only push me away."

"Sounds like your friend doesn't want any help shortman."

Silence drifted in between the two.

"I don't think so either grandpa," he whispered.

He and his grandfather talked for a little bit longer.

After Phil had left, Arnold continued to stare out the window, he shut his eyes, the only thing he felt now was a headache coming on.

'_Leave me alone!'_

Arnold opened his eyes quickly and sat up looking around the room. The words were so clear, they sounded almost real.

"God, just let me sleep please," he demanded into the darkness.

"Just please for tonight," he yawned,"let me sleep."

* * *

It's always an eventful dinner at the Pataki house. Big Bob had yet again, called her the wrong name, and went on about his beeper emporium and its sales.

Miriam, being the perfect mother, had fallen asleep in her food.

Helga had such a role model family, it never seemed to surprise her how incredibly _lucky _she was.

And here she sat again, staring down at her journal, not knowing how to continue. She wasn't quite ready to fully express her feelings about Arnold.

Then, she found the words to say.

-I threw out his stuff yesterday. As I did so, it felt like a knife was permanently lodged in my heart. I always thought those girls who talked about 'heartbreak' were air heads. Now, I know, being heartbroken is definitely a real feeling.

-I scare myself when I look in the mirror now. The girl I see staring back at me is someone else. I don't know this person, and I don't want to know this person.

-Maybe I'll turn out like Miriam. I'll forever absorb my sorrows into mixed drinks and sleeping. Sleeping is another realm where we can go and feel completely free. My mother said that to me one day after I had asked her why she slept so much. It didn't satisfy my curiosity. I think Miriam sleeps so much to escape reality, to escape the world she hates living in, with Big Bob and with her daughter. I know this because I've heard it before.

-On rare occasions Miriam will grow a backbone and stand up to Big Bob. On this given day, she screamed that she had never wanted to settle down with him and that she wished she had never met him. I didn't stay long enough to hear the regret of having Bob's children.

-I feel empty, like my very meaning to existing has been stolen. I don't want to feel that way. So what if I don't have a good life with my parents, not most of the greats do huh? Every decent person in history has always started off in crap.

Helga's hand was starting to ache. Glancing over at the clock she saw it was 10 o'clock. Tomorrow was Friday, and also the baseball game against the 7th graders, they had grown tough a few weeks ago, claiming they could beat the new 8th graders. Well, in being the bosses of the school now, Helga and her…friends had to show them the deal.

It was a game that Helga had originally been stoked about; now, all she felt was complete dread.

No.

She said she wouldn't let this…emotional disturbance defeat her and she meant it. She only had to be in Arnold's presence for an hour…or two.

Helga sighed and put her pillow over her face.

Sleep.

Sleep.

She was chiming the word to herself, until finally it came.

* * *

Arnold tossed and turned.

'_Just leave me alone Arnold.'_

'_I'm not a pity party!'_

'_It was only the heat of the moment football head!'_

Arnold jolted awake, breathing heavily.

He shakily ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

Sitting mulling over his thoughts he suddenly remembered the baseball game the 8th graders had agreed to tomorrow.

Helga.

Arnold knew Helga too well; he knew she would never skimp out on a game.

'Maybe she'll want to talk tomorrow?' It was worth a try.

Arnold lay back down, ready for another sleepless night full of conflicting dreams.

* * *

R&R


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone, I wanted to thank my reviewers and my readers for supporting me through the story. I do take a lot of ya'lls suggestions into consideration.

And because I love you more than you'll ever know, here's another chapter!

Enjoy.

-I love you.

* * *

Helga left school and headed out to Gerald field. She wasn't ready for this game at all, but, she was glad that school went by smoothly. No words were exchanged between her and Arnold, but looks were. All throughout the day she felt his eyes on her. It grated on her nerves and anxiety but she let it go.

This morning she had hyped herself up saying over and over that she could handle being in close proximity to Arnold for a few hours.

There was no chickening out; she could never live that down.

When she got to the field half of her class was already there.

The 7th graders were glaring at them across the field, murmuring amongst themselves.

Helga could feel eyes on her. Ever since her little display of hysteria in the classroom everybody was acting strangely towards her, they looked at her like she was a nut job.

God, maybe she was.

"Hey Sheena," she said to the blonde girl, who was playing with a butterfly.

"Hello Helga, do you feel okay today?"

She sighed and nodded her head, "I'm not in the looney bin yet, so I guess it's a pretty decent day."

Sheena frowned, not sure if that was a joke, or the truth.

"Okay everybody, let's round up," Arnold interjected.

Huddling in a circle everybody started to yell what position they wanted to be. Helga wanted none of the drama and stood back.

"Harold, you're not being the thrower, the last time you broke two windows," Gerald told him firmly.

"Hey! That was an accident!"

"Accident or not Herald, we got in a lot of trouble," Arnold told him.

"Listen Arnold, I can't get this outfit dirty."

"Rhonda, why did you wear something like that to play baseball in?" He asked her.

Helga sighed, she would have freaked out by now, if she were still in her old sprits. She would have told Harold to shut up, and she would have told Rhonda to get over it. Those two goons always had something to say every baseball game.

"Harold, you're on the batters mound, and Rhonda you're in the field," Gerald told them.

Arnold looked past the hectic crowd to Helga, who was abnormally quiet. She was always up front commanding the team before a game. Yelling at people to stop whining about the spots they got.

"Helga, you're outfield with Rhonda and Sheena."

"Ok."

Arnold was shocked; he expected a blow up, or a string of very rude names. He was also shocked that he was _disappointed _that she didn't flip out.

The excited banter quieted down when all the positions were called.

"Okay everyone, let's win this game and show these 7th graders whose boss!" Gerald yelled.

"Yeah!" everyone screamed with him. Everyone except Arnold and Helga.

Helga was annoyed that she got put in the field, but she wouldn't say that to Arnold. She just wanted to get this stupid game over with.

Batter after batter stepped up, but none hit the ball very far. Gerald was throwing fire and Helga was bored out of her mind.

20 minutes passed by without Helga moving very far at all.

She was really sick of standing so she decided to sit down on her haunches. She angrily ripped at the grass, wondering why Arnold put her here.

Suddenly, a scream tore through the air.

"Helga!"

She suddenly felt quite a bit of pain.

* * *

Helga came to a few minutes later. She woke up to all of her class crowding around her.

"Move back." A voice demanded.

She looked up to the voice and saw Arnold. She then looked down to see that he was holding her hand.

Frustrated, she ripped her hand away from his and scooted further to the right.

"I'm fine everybody, let's just get back to the game."

"I don't know Helga, maybe you should sit this one out." Sheena said over her right shoulder.

"No. I drug myself out here to play, and I'm going to finish."

"Hey!" one of the 7th graders called, "Are we gonna play?!"

Sheena helped Helga off the ground, "If you feel bad, just sit on the bench."

Helga nodded.

Arnold watched Helga as she put her hand up to her forehead. He went over to her, "Helga, ma-."

"I said I'm fine," she exclaimed hotly and turned away.

He was a mix between anger and confusion as he watched her walk away. Why was she so cold to him? She seemed to avoid him all the time, at school, around the neighborhood. What had he done to her?

"They're in the field now," Gerald told everyone, "the first up to bat is Helga."

"That's fine," she said.

Everyone watched as Helga went up to bat. Knowing, she would probably hit it out of the park.

Arnold watched for any signs of pain coming from her. He noticed the 7th graders were snickering about something in the field.

Helga swung once and missed, eliciting more laughs from the outfield.

She ignored them, focusing on the ball, her head was pounding.

Arnold was starting to fidget, growing impatient with the rude comments and laughs from the 7th graders. He noticed that the pitcher seemed to be the ring leader.

"Here, I'll slow this one down for you!" he yelled at Helga. He barely threw the ball, causing the outfield to erupt into more laughter.

The 8th graders were starting to stand up and yell more stuff back to them.

Arnold could feel his anger rise higher.

"Dang!' the pitcher called, "she's as slow as she is ugly!"

Arnold wasn't sure what he was doing when he bolted out to the field. He wasn't sure what set him off the most, the pitcher, his lack of sleep, or the frigid cold he was getting from Helga Pataki.

He grabbed the young kid and shook him like a rag doll.

"Fight!" the 7th graders were screaming.

Arnold felt hands grabbing at his arms, trying to pull his fists away from the kids face.

Helga could not believe what she was seeing. Was Arnold fighting?

Was he fighting over her?

No, he wasn't. She was stupid to believe that.

Her head was hurting very badly, and she didn't want to stay around to witness anymore of the drama, she let the bat slip from her fingers and dashed off of the field.

She didn't make it all the way home before she had another panic attack in an alley way.

In. Out.

In. Out.

Her breathing was shallow again. Her chest was on fire.

Easy Helga, easy girl she said over and over to herself.

It wasn't you he was fighting over. It wasn't you. It wasn't you.

The burning was overwhelming and she sank to her knees.

Minutes flew by before she finally got her hyperventilating under control.

* * *

Arnold was sitting on the bench with Gerald beside him. His friend had finally managed to pull his friend off of the other player. But, the damage had already been dealt.

Two bloody lips and a black eye.

The field had emptied out a few minutes after the fight had been broken up.

"Arnold, what were you thinking?"

He looked at the ground, not wanting to answer his friend, mainly because he didn't exactly know _why _he had attacked the other guy.

"I don't know."

"This is so unlike you man and it isn't only this you know."

Frustration was creeping through Arnold again. Gerald was judging him, and he had no right to.

"I know I snapped, I haven't been sleeping well Gerald, just let it go," he said, a bit angrily.

His friend looked at him taking in his abnormal behavior. Never, in all the years he had known Arnold had he seen him use physical violence, especially against a person.

"I'm not going to let it go Arnold; you're like losing it man."

Arnold jumped up, and started pacing.

"Is it Helga?"

"No..yes..I don't know!" he bellowed.

Gerald just looked at him like he was some alien.

"Well, she's gone. She didn't even stick around. When I pried you off of that idiot, I looked around for her and she was gone."

Arnold stopped pacing, looking at his friend in complete shame.

"I have to go," he said softly.

He turned to leave Gerald.

"Arnold," his friend called, making him stop.

"I'm really worried about you."

He didn't answer him. He was concerned about himself as well, he was not this person, and what scared him the most was that he didn't know the problem.

Helga.

Helga was his problem.

Her silence was his problem.

Ignoring him was his problem.

And he instantly knew where his next destination was.

* * *

R&R


	6. Chapter 6

-I love you.

* * *

Helga paced around her room, she had calmed down enough to get herself home, but other than that her anxiety was still sky high.

Why?

Why had Arnold fought with that pitcher? Did he really think she couldn't hear what they were saying? Did he think she couldn't handle herself?

The thought made her a little angry. She didn't need Arnold to _save _her. And, she didn't need it. She didn't the confusion it brought to her. She was trying to let go of him, she didn't need reasons to hold on.

Sitting on her bed, she stared at the wall. Everything was so complicated. Where was she? Who was this person that had taken over her body?

Before today, she would have knocked anyone out who dared to call her ugly.

But she did nothing today. She stood idly by while she was picked on, and she did…nothing.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get back into her old mindset.

The doorbell rang suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts.

Maybe it was Sheena coming over to check on her. Or Rhonda? She wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them.

Not bothering to look out the peephole she opened the door.

The person on the other side made her gasp. Trying to close it suddenly, a hand shot out to stop her from doing so.

"No," Arnold said forcefully. He stepped in and slammed the door behind him.

Helga cursed her parents for not being there. Big Bob was at his stupid sale and Miriam was off at the grocery store.

"No more hiding Helga."

"I'm not hiding."

He glared at her, "You've been hiding from me for two weeks now. If I've done something you can at least tell me."

Helga sighed, "It has nothing to do with you, why are you so concerned? You're prying into my business."

"Just let me help you," he said quietly.

She looked at him, his face was dirty and his eye was a little swollen. She was trying her very hardest to stand her ground. He was getting too close again.

To close…and she just couldn't...

She had to stand firm.

"Get out," she demanded.

"I'm not going anywhere Helga."

"Arnold! Get out of my house! If I wanted to tell you what my problem was, I would!"

He shook his head.

"This isn't you Helga, moping around, and acting down all the time. Not...talking. It isn't you."

Helga's impatience finally snapped by this point.

Couldn't he see he was torturing her..

"You don't know anything about me, nothing," she seethed. "I'm not Lila, I'm not perfect and I don't prance around like Mary friggin shine."

"That's not what I meant Helga! Don't put words in my mouth!"

Helga was beyond angry. How dare him!

Grabbing the doorknob furiously, she slung it open.

"If you don't leave, I will make a spectacle so the entire street can see."

Arnold's mouth was twitching in anger. He wanted to grab the door and slam it shut. He wanted to shake her until she finally told him what her problem was.

He did neither though and walked out the door.

Helga watched the boy leave and felt sick to her stomach. Shutting the door she leaned against it and felt the bile rise up in her throat. Rushing to the bathroom, she emptied her lunch into the toilet.

When she was done getting sick, she sobbed into the toilet bowl. She was so confused! She was so angry!

How dare he stand there and _pretend _like he knew her. He might as well have compared her to precious Lila.

Intense feelings rushed through her, making her sick again.

Arnold was beyond furious.

This entire day had been…horrible. And Helga…

He got to his house and bounded up the stairs. Paying no attention to any of the hi's, or hello's that he was greeted with.

Slamming the door he saw a glass trophy on his desk.

It was a baseball trophy and it was…mocking him.

He clenched his teeth together and grabbed it, chucking it with his full strength against the opposite wall.

Everything on his desk went after it.

He was so confused over what he was feeling.

He was angry.

He was hurt.

And he was tired.

He had thrown everything, and he was out of breath, his heart hammering.

What was he?

What had he turned into?

He put his face in his hands and sobbed, sliding onto the floor.

* * *

R&R

Sorry for the shorter chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

"**Silence is just another word for pain**."

-I love you.

* * *

Arnold sat on his floor, his head in his hands. He had never ever felt so miserable or lost in his life.

His feelings towards Helga were intense and very confusing. He had never felt this way over anybody, not even Lila.

Lila.

He needed someone to talk to, someone that wouldn't judge him. Someone he could confide in.

Grasping up at his phone, he quickly dialed her phone number.

"Hello?" a bubbly voice came over the phone.

"Hey Lila, its Arnold."

"Oh! Hello Arnold! Are you feeling any better? I heard about what happened at the baseball field today."

He sighed and twisted the cord in-between his fingers, "To be perfectly honest Lila, I don't feel better at all."

There was a pause, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Listen, can we talk somewhere? I have to tell you something, it's kind of important."

"Of course Arnold! I'll meet you at the park in a few minutes?"

"Sounds good."

Hanging up the phone, he was kind of nervous about the encounter. What was he supposed to say to Lila? He was going through stuff and he couldn't sort out his feelings?

Sighing, he pulled his shoes on and left.

Lila was sitting on a bench when he got there. She was picking at the wood and looking around. Seeing him, her face broke out in a smile.

"Arnold!" she waved.

He smiled back, "Hey Lila."

She patted the empty space beside her. "You wanted to talk? On the phone you sounded a little upset."

He sat down beside her sighing, "Yeah. Things are a little difficult and confusing right now."

"Well, if you'd like, you can tell me."

He twiddled his thumbs around, trying to sort out the thoughts rolling around in his brain.

"I-It's Helga."

Lila nodded her head, "I've noticed she's been a lot quieter lately."

"That's an understatement," he said a little harshly.

"I'm confused Arnold, why does that bother you so much? Helga really isn't the uh..the nicest person to you." She rubbed her feet together; a little ashamed she had called Helga mean.

He ran his fingers through his hair, aggravated with himself, with his feelings. He stood up and paced around the bench.

"She has been ignoring me. I-I've tried talking to her. She shuts me out every single time Lila. And, I don't know _why _it bothers me so much. And now, everyone is looking at me like I'm crazy, especially Gerald. He's the main one really. A-And.."

"Arnold. Slow down. You're starting to get a little excited. Now, tell me what's wrong."

He stopped, fully looking at her, "I don't know. I am so angry, and I don't sleep well. Helga…she, her distance and her despondency is always on mind. In short, it's driving me crazy."

Lila listened to him intently, with a little smile on her face.

"Arnold, it sounds like you're developing feelings for Helga. Have you ever thought of that?"

He looked at her again, wide eyed.

God, no he hadn't.

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"No. I cannot _like _the girl that has tormented me since 1st grade."

"Well, it kind of sounds that way Arnold. You're constantly worried about her, you're not sleeping, and you're angry that she isn't paying attention to you."

"It would explain a few things," he said.

"It explains everything," Lila said sweetly.

"There's nothing wrong with liking her. I don't think Helga will stay in her 'picking on everyone phase' forever Arnold."

"It however doesn't explain the way Helga's been acting. It could just be something going on at her house. Or maybe…the Phoebe situation?"

Arnold had never thought of that. He knew Phoebe had been bumped up a grade, he also remembered that that was the day that Helga started acting strangely.

"She won't tell me what's wrong."

Lila rubbed her lips together, lost in her thoughts. "Has she been talking to anyone lately? I've noticed her silence as well Arnold, I don't think it's only you."

Arnold's memory went back to Sheena. Helga seemed not as distant around her, she still seemed upset, but not to the extent she was around him.

"I've tried talking to her and she always tells me to leave her alone. And today-," he stopped talking, ashamed of what had happened.

"You can tell me Arnold." Lila said, smiling.

* * *

Helga walked to the park. Standing over the bridge, always helped her clear her mind.

She had overdone it that day. She had totally overreacted; she could have handled it a lot better. Instead, she had caused a dramatic scene, probably making her situation a lot worse.

She didn't understand why Arnold had gotten into that fight today, and that's what was eating at her. He had never paid attention to her before, but maybe that was her fault. She hadn't exactly been the nicest person to him over the years.

But, how else was she supposed to express her feelings? Growing up in her distant household, hadn't exactly taught her to be the most…affectionate person.

Phoebe always gave her advice on how to confront Arnold. Or anybody. She missed her friend, she couldn't wait for Monday so she could go see her and tell her the many things that had happened.

Helga reached the park and realized it was almost empty.

Good. Nice and quiet, the perfect scenery to mull over one's thoughts.

* * *

Lila was no longer smiling at the end of his story. A look of extreme confusion had taken its place instead.

"Oh Arnold-, "she started.

"I was very angry. I had just gotten into a big fight, not only with that idiot pitcher, but also with Gerald."

Lila looked at the boy in front of her, not sure of what to say, the only thing she could do was hug him.

"It's okay." She said to him.

Helga had come to the conclusion that she should apologize to Arnold. The entire day had just been…insane. And she had no excuse to contribute to its madness with her dramatics. She would continue to work on letting him go, but it was more uncomfortable if he was mad at her.

So..she would make some kind of amends with him.

Suddenly, an image came into view.

She squinted and suddenly noticed two very familiar people in a rather intimate position..

"A-Arnold." Her voice squeaked out. She clapped her hand over her mouth quickly and dashed behind a tree before she could be seen.

Arnold and Lila? Hugging on a bench?

The sight made her feel nauseous. The image of the two was slowly making its way into her heart cavity, destroying her. It was like a burning, pain.

Tears clouded her vision as she sat behind the tree. She couldn't go anywhere, in fear of being seen by either of the two. She'd rather stay there forever then have one of them see her cry.

"Thank you for listening Lila. I feel a little bit better about my situation."

Lila smiled. "So do you think you might like her Arnold?"

He looked down at his feet. "I don't know."

She frowned at him then. "Arnold, I'm going to be up front with you because I'm your friend, and I think it's what you need right now."

Looking at her sheepishly, he waited..

"You _care_ about Helga. I don't know how deeply, and I don't know how much, but you _do, _and that's the point. There is however, _no_ point in lying to yourself. That's what's making this situation so complicated, you won't own up to your feelings."

He simply stared at her, letting the words sink in.

He knew she was right. He had been _fighting _his feelings, and that was what was driving him crazy. Well, one of the things.

"You're right Lila," he said in a low, pained voice.

Looking at him sadly, she put his hand on her shoulder. "Arnold, just go home and mull over your thoughts. It will help, I promise."

Arnold exhaled and nodded.

* * *

Helga felt so stupid. To think…she would have apologized to him.

S-She felt like such a moron!

Hatred coursed through her veins. He didn't care about her. Showing up at her house, demanding her to _tell _him what was wrong. _Pretending _like he actually cared.

_Then_, comparing her to little-miss-perfect Lila.

The one he was basically making out with on the bench.

Turning her head, she watched them giggle.

Not being able to watch them anymore, she stood up and fled from the park.

* * *

Arnold and Lila were laughing, when suddenly Lila stopped and stood up.

"Arnold, did you see that?"

He had seen it, but he didn't get a very good look at the person.

It couldn't have been…Helga?

* * *

R&R


	8. Chapter 8

"The easiest way to _not _get hurt is to not care. But that's the hardest thing to do."

-I love you.

* * *

Monday came in a rushed haze for Helga Pataki. The weekend had been no friend to her.

Arnold…god she would have to see Arnold today. And Lila. When had they become a pair? It wasn't really shocking; Arnold had had a thing for Ms. Perfect for as long as she could remember.

Lila was everything Helga wasn't.

Shrugging it off into her black box in the back of her mind, she started to get ready for school. She'd have to hurry, or she'd miss the bus. It was pouring outside, so there would be no walking.

Boarding the bus, she realized that the chaos hadn't been tamed yet. It was still as relevant as ever. She kind of wished she had walked now.

Helga sat at the front of the bus, avoiding eye contact with anyone. She could feel the whispers behind her back and decided to ignore it.

Arnold watched her board the bus. He had to talk to her.

Helga was too lost in thought to notice the body that sat down beside hers.

"Helga."

She jumped slightly at the voice and whipped her head around.

"A-Arnold. You scared the crap outta me."

"I wanted to apologize for my actions Friday. I shouldn't have snapped on you. Or on that pitcher."

Helga stared at him, not saying anything.

He waited for her to yell at him, but nothing came. She just turned her head and continued to stare out the window.

"Helga, can't you answer me please?"

Sighing, she turned back his way, "What would you like me to say Arnie?"

Narrowing his eyes, "I want you to tell me what your problem is."

Helga felt a stab at her heart, remembering the image of Arnold and Lila hugging on the park bench. She guessed it wouldn't hurt to drop a subtle hint.

"You know, I always wonder how those people do it." She said dreamily.

Arnold raised an eyebrow, "Do what?"

"Lie so well. I want to know how they do it. I would like to know so I can do it. Can you imagine? I mean, we can't all lie in every extremity…not even in the heat of the moment." She whispered the last part.

His eyes widened. But they never broke contact with each other.

"Helga-" he said quietly.

Suddenly the bus lurched to a narrow stop in front of the school.

All of the students were piling off while Helga and Arnold stayed in their seats.

Gerald came up behind his friend and shoved his shoulder, "We gotta go man, we'll be late."

* * *

Helga sat through class, feeling eyes on her. She turned her head to see him glancing over at her. Butterflies flitted around her stomach.

No Helga, you can't do this to yourself! You're supposed to be letting him go.

She scowled at him, and he quickly turned his head away.

"Now class, we need to pair up with somebody, for our mommy and daddy project. You have exactly 5 minutes to pick your significant other for the next four days, or I'm picking them for you." Ms. Williams threatened sweetly.

Everyone literally jumped out of their chair to grab their pick of partners. Helga watched with disinterest, she didn't give a crap who her partner was.

Arnold watched as Lila looked between him and Helga. He smiled and she shrugged.

"Gerald would you like to be my partner?" she asked him. Now that phoebe wasn't here, Gerald wasn't jumping for any female partner.

"Sure." He smiled.

Everyone had somebody, other than Helga. She sighed and slumped down in her chair.

"Helga." A familiar voice said behind her. "Would you like to be my partner?"

She turned to see Arnold, a nervous smile spread across his features.

Helga felt a knotting in her stomach. "Why aren't you pairing up with your girlfriend?" Helga asked hotly.

"Lila?" he asked, confused.

"Who else."

"Lila and I aren't together Helga. What gave you that idea?"

Helga shrugged her shoulders and turned around.

"Has everyone found themselves a partner?" Ms. Williams questioned.

"Yes!" the class answered.

Helga was tired of Arnold always playing cat and mouse with her. She glared at him across the room, while he wore a look of smug satisfaction. She didn't believe him when he said he and Lila weren't together. Maybe this was a sick game the couple was playing. Helga hadn't forgotten that Lila knew her secret about her liking Arnold. It always made her feel sick when she thought of it. She didn't trust Ms. Perfect.

"Now, I'm going to explain the project. I'm going to give you all little dolls at the end of the class period. These dolls, I might warn you, are just like real babies. They cry, they sleep, and they go to the bathroom as well." This made the class snicker.

"They also have censors in them. So, when you take them out, a little light will flash here." Ms. Williams pointed at a little desk behind her. On it was a speaker looking box with little button like lights aligning it.

"I will not fail you if you do it only once. But more than once, you will get an automatic zero. And this assignment is worth 4 test grades. So..you might as well kiss your class average goodbye if you cheat."

Everyone in the class let out a little groan.

Helga thought the entire thing was stupid. They had already done an experiment like this in 4th grade with an egg. Her partner had been Arnold then as well. It was nothing short of a complete nightmare.

"You'll have 4 days to spend together. How you alternate the child will be up to you. Now, in a nice manner, all the groups come up and pick a baby."

Arnold looked over at Helga as she drug herself up out of her chair.

She didn't look excited at all.

Well, she never really did these days did she?

They got up to the front and Arnold was immediately drawn to one baby doll with blonde hair and hazel eyes.

Helga watched as he picked up the doll, a huge smile on his face.

It made her stomach flutter, and she scowled.

"It's just a stupid doll Arnold." She snapped, "Just pick one."

* * *

The end of the day came finally. It had been a weird one for Helga.

The rain had let up a little bit so she decided to walk to Phoebes house. She wanted to avoid Arnold and their stupid project. Why had he wanted to be her partner? To try and suck the reason why she was so distant out of her? That would not happen.

Helga couldn't help but feel like some of her feelings were definitely evaporating. It made her feel incredibly lonely, and incredibly upset. But this was her goal.

But his smile today when he picked up that baby…it was one of the things she'd take with her.

"Helga!" A voice called behind her.

Crap. She had forgotten that one of them had to take that stupid baby doll home.

"What?" She snapped in Arnold's general direction.

"Do you want me to take him for the first night?" Arnold asked her.

"I don't care Arnold." She said turning away.

Arnold could feel his irritation mounting. "So you want me to?" he asked again.

She was starting to walk away from him.

No.

He wouldn't let her.

"Damnit Helga!" he yelled.

Helga stopped suddenly. Her hand tightened on her book bag strap.

"Look at me." He hissed at her.

Helga turned around, avoiding his heated gaze.

"Why do you think I asked to be your partner today?" he asked her.

"Pity?" Helga muttered.

He grabbed her hand to pull her into the vacant alley way beside them. He threw the baby doll down on the ground, never letting go of her hand.

"I didn't do it to _pity_ you. I did it because I like you Helga."

For Helga, time stood still. There was no noise; there was no movement, there was nothing. Nothing but her and Arnold standing in the empty alley way.

Suddenly, reality slapped her in the face again.

She pulled her hand out of his.

"Stop lying."

He shook his head, "Why would I be lying about that Helga?"

"Don't you have Lila?" she said to him, biting her lower lip, remembering her buried pain.

"It was you in the park that day wasn't it?" he asked her.

"So what if it was? I didn't go there to spy on you football head. I went there to think over a few things."

Arnold looked at the girl in front of him.

"You don't believe me?" he asked her in a slight murmur. The words sounded like they hurt him to say.

Helga slid down the wall, finally overwhelmed with all the emotions flowing through her system.

"Arnold, it's not that I don't believe you. It just sounds way too good to be true. For years now, I've waited on you to say those very words. I acted a fool; I pined for you, for your attention. "

He stood above her listening.

A crack of thunder made Helga jump a little bit. But her words were still coming out at a rapid pace.

"That night on the top of the FTI building, I confessed to you because I thought you would believe me. And you didn't. I'll never forget the look of horror you had when I told you."

The thought ripped through her, and her lower lip started to quiver.

Arnold leaned his forehead against the building. He felt an intense wave of emotion take over him as he remembered that night.

"Arnold. I love you."

Her heart finally cracked into as her tears rushed down her face.

"I love you! But I don't want to love you anymore! I don't want to hurt anymore!"

She sobbed into her hands.

Arnold watched as he broke the girl in front of him. His ignorance had broken her.

"Helga-" He whispered brokenly, stretching his arm out to her. She automatically flinched away and climbed off of the ground.

It had started to pour by now, but Helga didn't care, she rushed out into the rain and away from Arnold.

* * *

R&R


	9. Chapter 9

-I love you

* * *

Arnold stood in the alley way for so long that he lost track of time. He was thinking about what had just happened with Helga.

So..it wasn't just the heat of the moment. He didn't figure it wasn't, she had never led on to it being anything different. And he never pressed the issue, it was just a little odd for him.

Helga had gone her whole life picking on him. Torturing him with endless torments and angry words flitted with hate and malice. How was he supposed to know it wasn't just her acting out again, to get under his skin?

Well, it turns out, it definitely wasn't, and he didn't know how to feel.

He wasn't disappointed. He wasn't uncomfortable with the ideal. It just…confused him.

Nothing could be done standing in this alley though, and the rain had let up a long time ago.

Sighing, he bent over and picked up their project.

In a slight trance, he walked home.

* * *

Helga sat on Phoebe's stoop before she knocked on the door.

She had made a right fool of herself. Screaming at Arnold that she loved him, she probably looked like a flat out nut job.

There was nothing that could be done about the situation now. Still, she mulled over in silence, remembering in particular what he told her before everything changed dramatically.

_I like you Helga._

Oh, did he?

For some reason, she didn't believe him.

For the past two years, they had barely exchanged words to each other. And now that Helga didn't pay him much attention, he finally noticed her and cared?

The words gripped her heart and twisted it in a vice like grip. Destroying her.

Suddenly, snapping her out of her love sick haze the door opened to reveal her friend.

"Helga?" Phoebe questioned, rushing to her friends side.

"Hey." She mumbled to her, standing up and brushing the remnants of the dirt off her pants.

Phoebe noticed the tension in Helga's face and reached out for her.

"What happened?" she asked, knowing immediately the culprit of her friend's misery.

Helga bit her lip and started to tell Phoebe about what all had happened over the last few days.

When Helga finished, her friend stared at her, in shock, in dismay, in..anger. Phoebe was hard to anger, and Helga wondered what she was thinking.

"So much drama." She whispered to Helga.

They both sat on the floor of her bedroom. Helga was sprawled out, her long legs stretched out in front of her and her back to the door. Phoebe's back was against the bed, her legs out in front of her. They faced each other, and neither missed any passing emotion cross the other's face.

"Everything is messed up." Helga told her friend, pulling on the rug once again. "I should be happy that he said that to me! I should be bouncing around this room, crying tears of hysterical happiness. But, I'm not. I sit here mulling over what he said, not believing him."

Phoebe looked at her. Worry had etched their lines in the face of her dear friend. Her eyes bore no light. It had been extinguished.

"Things are being misunderstood on both ends of the spectrum Helga. You two need to talk it over, on equal grounds. Meaning, no fighting and no pulling away." She fastened her stern eye on Helga, telling her with her glare that meant her especially.

Of course Phoebe was right. She always was. Helga was only going to admit to _herself_ that she hadn't handled a lot of her situations well.

Helga nodded at her, letting out a sigh, then setting a little smile on her face.

"Tell me how High School is."

* * *

Helga twisted the cord in between her fingers as the other line rang in her ear. Her fingers shakily gripped the receiver. Everything in her being was telling her to hang up the phone, that he was probably mad at her and wouldn't want to talk.

Before she could rethink the entire thing entirely a woman's voice came on the phone.

"Who's speaking please?" the voice croaked into the phone.

"Uh hi, c-can I talk to A-Arnold?" Helga managed to get out.

Silence and then a shrill Arnold! Rang in Helga's ear drum. She pulled the phone away for a split second, glaring at the receiver.

Did they have to yell in her ear?

A click sounded on the phone as Arnold's voice came over the line.

"Hello?" he called out, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Hi Arnold." Helga said, a little quietly.

Arnold's voice changed from annoyance to a mild shock. "Helga?"

"Yes, um, I wanted to call and apologize for my uh…dramatics in the alleyway.'

He was silent for a few moments, and Helga was afraid he had hung up on her.

"Arnold?" she bit out.

"I'm still here," he said to her.

"Listen, I don't expect you to say much over the phone, so I was wondering if we could meet up somewhere to talk about all of this?"

"Sure, where would you like to meet?"

Not the park, that's for sure. Helga rolled her eyes at the negative thought.

"How about the docks?"

Agreeing to the destination, Helga took a deep breath. Easy Helga, you can do this.

She looked at herself in the mirror and brushed her hair out. It fell it soft waves over her shoulders; she rather liked it that way.

She removed her wet clothing and settled for her pink dress.

Heading out she counted to ten to calm her nerves. She hoped it would help.

* * *

Arnold arrived there a little late, but not by much.

He looked to the end of the dock and saw…Helga. But bathed in the light of the setting sun, she looked so different…

Her back was turned to him as he looked at her. Her hair blew in the gentle breeze, to wave about her shoulders. Her dress swayed itself around her frame, billowing across her small hips. She looking entrancing and it made Arnold's heart beat fiercely in his chest.

He felt like he was finally seeing Helga Pataki. In all her beautiful, misunderstood glory.

She suddenly turned, sensing a presence. Her eyes widened, "How long have you been standing there?" she asked him.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Not for very long."

She flushed and turned back around.

"You look nice Helga."

She pulled on her dress, "I've only worn this since pre-school Arnold."

"No, you look different somehow, like you're glowing."

She raised her eyebrow at him, "Okay Romeo."

She sat at the end of the dock and dangled her feet over the water, inhaling the sea air. Finding her calm.

"I called you out here because I wanted to apologize." She started, feeling her calmness starting to slip. "We're not on the same page with our feelings towards each other."

Arnold nodded and plopped down beside her.

"I wanted to apologize as well; I never meant to ignore you before Helga, which has never been my intention."

Helga admired how the light hit the water in front of her. It bounced off of the blue waves; entangling itself with separate colors and making the waves luster like little crystals.

Arnold was watching the same waves and smiled as he hesitantly glanced over at Helga. Hoping to not get caught staring.

Her eyes were remarkable in this light. As blue as the ocean in front of them. They were soft, and wide as she admired the sea. Her hair moved about her pink tinged cheeks and danced in small rivets across her high cheekbones.

"Helga." He bit out huskily.

She looked over at him. Her eyes catching the light even more.

He couldn't help himself as his hand moved over hers. He touched her fingertips, eliciting a small shiver from the girl before him.

He leaned forward, and Helga felt her heart stop.

Arnold pressed his lips to hers, in a light innocent kiss.

The kiss in general was anything but light for Helga. She had waited so long for that moment. Years.

She moved her hand up and gently touched his face, molding his lips harder against her own.

Arnold took his other hand and cupped the nape of her neck, swiftly moving his mouth over hers. The kiss was like a fierce burning making its way through each of their bodies, and it only stopped at the tips of their toes.

Arnold gently pulled away when he felt their kissing starting to escalate.

"Helga." He said, a little breathlessly.

She raised her eyebrow in question.

"I would like you to be my girlfriend."

* * *

R&R

I'm notorious for ending things with a cliffie.

Will Helga believe him and except his proposition?


End file.
